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Part of the 'Shit My Wife Says' Series

My beloved wife felt a ride was the best way to celebrate our 728th wedding anniversary.
She felt this way because she is my wife and righteous.
For my part, I had complied with her earlier request and got her a new helmet – a glorious Schuberth M1 Pro.
“This is great,” she advised me. “Why did you not get me one like this before?”
“Because I am rubbish,” I told her.
This was not new information for Lynette.
“It’s amazing what a difference good gear makes,” she said. “It’s so soft inside. It doesn’t tear my earrings out of my head when I take it on and off. I can still yell at you.”
Our ride was from Singleton to Rylstone – so about a 400km round trip. The highlight being the Bylong Valley Way.
“Stop scraping the motorcycle,” she said after the first climb. “It feels like we’re about to go over a cliff.”
“It’s because we are,” I explained. “And yes, I’m joking. Stop hitting me. It distracts me from not riding off a cliff.”
“Some of those bumps are real kidney-busters,” she said after I’d bottomed the Chieftain out in a causeway. “Slow down, you fucken idiot.”
“I’m showing off so you’ll think me manly and virile,”I replied.
“I’ll kick your knees into jam,” she yelled in my ear.
I love her so much. She is my world.
Oh, and we also bumped into Al, who would have witnessed her killing me, so that’s probably why that didn’t happen.

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Boris Mihailovic

Boris is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously. He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.

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