WARNING – THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE CONTAINS MANY RUDE WORDS. IF YOU ARE OF A SENSITIVE DISPOSITION AND SUCH WORDS CAUSE YOU ANGST, GO READ SOMETHING ELSE, STROKE YOUR CAT, OR GET A LARGE BLACK DOG UP INSIDE YOURSELF.
After many years of steel-eyed observation and close personal involvement, I feel I can finally shed light upon one of the greatest mysteries of our time.
It really is the most pressing question Australia is facing.
Why do large amounts of people continue to drive in the overtaking lane? They are clearly not overtaking anything. In the best-case scenario, they are just there, in the right-hand lane, utterly and willfully disregarding the fact they should be in the left-hand lane. And that is where they should be because that is how things must be so we may continue to live in a peaceful and productive society.
In the worst-case scenario, they are driving beside the vehicle they’re meant to be overtaking. And you cannot pass. You can flash your lights until your wiring loom melts, but no passing will happen – not by you and not by the person in the right-hand lane who is in front of you.
How many times have you come upon such a thing and asked: “Why? Why are you doing that? What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you just pull over to the left and let me through?”
The answer has been obvious all along. We just haven’t dared give voice to it, because to do so, would have vast social repercussions. Terrible realisations would have to be…um, well, realised.
But I dare. I dare because I have had enough, and now I want to see the part of world that has these people in it, burn. And I will clap as their flesh bubbles and chars, and as they scream and writhe in fiery agony. And it will please me greatly.
You see, the people who drive in the right-hand lane are not actually people at all. They are cunts. Irredeemable, appalling, scandalous cunts. I’m not even sure they are human cunts. They could well be the cunt of some animal, like a pig, or a rat, or a wildebeest. I have not seen enough beastly genitalia to draw a definite conclusion. And it doesn’t matter. I have dealt with enough hopeless cunts in my time to be sure these cunts are, indeed, cunts.
What the unholy bastard Jesus fuck else could they be?
That’s right. Nothing. They can only be a cunt, because only a cunt would drive or ride upon the roads in such a cuntly fashion.
This goes beyond the normal Cunt Identification Protocol many of us use to identify a cunt by the vehicle it is driving. Those things remain a constant.
If you have pushbikes on your roof or bolted behind your car, you’re a cunt.
If you’re towing a caravan, you’re a cunt.
If you have a Magic Happens, an If You Can Read This You’re Too Close, a Cops Are Tops, or a Baby on Board sticker, you’re a cunt.
If you have an RM Willams bull-head decal pasted across your back window, you’re a cunt.
If you have any kind of Ned Kelly bullshit affixed to your rear glass, you’re a cunt.
If you drive a Tesla, you’re a cunt.
If you drive a Nissan Qashqai (what the fuck is that even?), you’re a cunt.
If you have any type of cutsie coloured numberplate on your car, you’re a cunt.
And it goes without saying the cunts driving in the right-hand lane are often the very same cunts already identified by the Cunt Identification Protocol. So, they are Cunts to the Power of Ten. But that doesn’t matter, just as it doesn’t matter what type of beastly cunt they actually are.
Because once Cunt Status has been attained, the level and type of cunt no longer matters. A simple cunt is every bit as shootable in the face as a cunt to the power of ten. They all hit the ground ruined-face-down with the same so-satisfying slap, and then they can be burned and the earth cleansed.
Also, understand the cuntness of the cunt driving in the right-hand lane permeates the entire inside of the vehicle. That is its nature. The entire inside of that vehicle is saturated with invasive eau-de-cunt because the amount of cunt in the driver is too vast for any one living creature to contain it, so it oozes into the bodies of the passengers, thus rendering them cunts as well.
The proof of this is simple to provide. If your passenger was not a cunt like you, he or she would tell you to de-cunt yourself out of the right-hand lane the second he or she detected you doing this.
But no. Most of the time, the male passenger is a cunt because he encourages the driver-cunt in his cuntness. You can see these passenger cunts turning their cunt-heads around to look at you as you loom up behind the car in the right-hand lane. And you can just hear what that passenger cunt is saying to the cunt driving. “Fuck him,” the cunt is saying to the other cunt.
The female cunts are just as bad and probably worse – but like I said, a cunt is a cunt is a cunt. The degree is really immaterial. They either have their hideous mole-feet up on the dash, and their fish-lipped slut-faces buried in their phones, so they are not even aware of what’s happening on the road. But they are attuned to the cunt driving because he’s the cunt that funds this sad bitch-cunt’s botox-and-fake-tits Insta lifestyle. And if the cunt wants to drive like the cunt he is, then the she-cunt beside him is his cheerleader.
It is obvious we are awash with cunts. The country is struggling to breath. Quite frankly, it was always going to come to this. Australia has turned into a nation where a disturbing majority of its people are utter cunts. And it is most demonstrably obvious by the way they drive.
It is not that they are unable to keep to the left. No physical defect prevents them from drifting back into the left lane or maybe depressing the accelerator a touch more, passing the car they are traveling beside, and then returning to the left lane. They are not blind and they understand how the mirrors in their car work. They either make a decision not to use these mirrors – the act of a cunt – or they choose to disregard what they see in them – another cunt-act.
So, it’s not like they’re unable to keep left. It’s that they don’t want to. These cunts have made a conscious decision to be cunts. They are not even acting like cunts. What they’re doing is not an act. They have simply become cunts. It was a conscious decision.
In every state and on every road with more than two lanes, cunts abound. It doesn’t matter if we are given three lanes, or six lanes, or eight lanes to drive in. These cunts could be given fifty lanes to drive in and they would still hog the overtaking lane, just because they are cunts. It’s what they do. It is their nature. They do not wish to be otherwise.
The fascist worm-farm that governs us and the granny-murdering filth it employs to stop us eating them all do nothing. And they do nothing because it suits the fascist worm-farm to rule over cunts. Because it likes cunts, and cunts are easily ruled. Non-cunts, on the other hand, relentlessly buck the goad. They do not submit willingly, and when they do, it is because they have been threatened with government-sanctioned violence. And we all know that violence is what keeps us all in line. The cunts love that. The non-cunts don’t. The cunts submit willingly. They have learned to appreciate and love the goad. It is the way of the cunt.
Why the fuck do you think our fascist worm-farm has invested billions in CCTV surveillance? They will tell you it’s for our collective safety. But it’s not. It is only and was ever only to keep the cunts safe. The worm-farm has only ever cared about them. Because it is only the servile, goad-loving cunts who keep the worm-farm in charge.
The rest of can get fucked, because we’re only standing in the way of the cunts.
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