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HYPOTHETICALS

Part of the 'Shit My Wife Says' Series

“What were you smashing in the kitchen last night?”

“On purpose or by accident?”

“Both.”

“Bongs on purpose and your favorite saucer by accident.”

“The saucer my son gave me for a birthday present?”

“That’s the one. You already broke the cup that went with it and it was being used as a candle platform, and when I went to get a bowl out of the dish-drainer, another bowl fell backwards and onto your saucer, and then I…”

“Stop talking and listen. If you would empty the drying rack of dishes, that would not have happened, would it?”

“Hard to say. I can’t deal in hypotheticals.”

“I’m telling you it would not have happened. And don’t smoke in the fucking kitchen. The garage is your cave. You are free to pollute that.”

“You are wise. Like a mountain.”

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Boris Mihailovic

Boris is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously. He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.

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