Imagine, if you will, what it would be like to live in a country where the government did something good for its people.
Not fussed if the government was federal, state, or local. Pick one. And that one, for the only time in all of its miserable, grubby existence, decided that just this once, it would do a good thing for the people whose money it so zealously gloms.
I’m a little light-headed just trying to wrap my head around such an alien concept. A government doing something good for the people it governs. You know, just because that’s what governments should actually do.
We all seem to have forgotten that, haven’t we?
It’s like we have also forgotten, or maybe not even known, that the police – who are there to ensure the government’s monopoly of violence remains with the government – exist only to protect property, not people.
Shocked? Don’t be. That is exactly the case. If the government cared about the people, we would have more ambos than we do cops. In NSW, there are close to 18,000 cops. There are just under 5000 ambos. You can clearly see a much higher value is placed on the protection of property than the well-being of people.
Still not convinced? How about we look at the money then? The NSW police budget is $4.751 billion. The ambos may have $1.76 billion.
Tasering grannies, feeling up teenage girls at raves, murdering the indigenous in custody, and marching through our pubs and clubs with sniffer dogs, clearly requires more funding than having and equipping trained paramedics with all the latest life-saving medical gear.
It is clear our governments – all three tiers – exist not to make our lives better, but to perpetuate their rule, acquire more of our hard-earned money, and to keep enacting ever more legislation wholly aimed at curtailing what few freedoms we have left.
And our services, the very things we pay them to provide us with, are all pretty shit. The hospitals, the schools, the roads, the housing crisis, and our crippled river systems, are not a priority. Sending money to fund overseas proxy wars for our US Daddy, fomenting hostilities with our largest trading partner, and buying nuclear-powered submarines like we got a pair of balls to use them, certainly are priorities. Big ones.
Nothing any government does improves the average person’s lot in life. Nothing. Not a single damned thing.
Just the opposite, in fact. Everything they do, at every level – federal, state, and local – just makes things harder and more complicated for all of us.
More restrictions, more rules, more and larger penalties for non-compliance, and all flavoured with more bureaucracy, and heaps more kicking-the-can-down-the road.
We, of course, just go along with it. It is not in us to riot, or burn, or protest in any meaningful way. That ship has long sailed if it it was ever even docked here. We just accept another rod for our long-suffering (but always compliant) backs, grumble a bit, and walk on. Like the shameless mules we have become.
We have been turned into a nation of gamblers, pissheads, and ignorant, but hopefully woke, shitheads.
No, I am not making this up. Michael Miller, the Australian correspondent for the Washington Post recently observed that:
“Australia is home to less than half a per cent of the world’s population but has 20 per cent of its pokies – and 80 per cent of those located outside casinos.” We have more pokies per capita than anywhere else on earth.
Good thing a quarter of us are hapless alcoholics, huh? Or those figures might be a bit concerning. But they’re not, because we’ll smash a few schooners/wines/bourbons with our mates, and keep on slapping.
The Australian Bureau of Statistics had this position in 2022: “More than one in four (26.8% or 5.2 million) adults aged 18 years and over exceeded the guideline (for safe alcohol consumption) in 2022. This includes those who either consumed more than 10 drinks in the last week and/or consumed five or more drinks on any day at least monthly in the last 12 months (on at least 12 occasions per year)”.
Add to all this our biblically vast ignorance of just about everything – geostrategic politics, world history, Australian history, literature, language, how to manufacture anything worth exporting to another country, and so on – and you have to wonder why our governments would treat us any differently than they do now.
“Fuck these peons. Stupid drunken fucks are too fucked to bother with. Let’s just keep milking the fucks until they die. And never give them fucken anything. The harder we make shit for them, the more they will drink and gamble. It’s the coping mechanism of the fucken unwashed.”
If you’ve ever studied the history of revolution, you’ll know that revolutions are only possible when the people come to the conclusion that no matter what happens after they burn everything and kill everyone in charge, it will be preferable to what the people have now.
Once you understand this, you’ll understand that no such conditions exist in Australia, and maybe never will. We do not have famine. Apart from our poor indigenous folks, most of us do not die in police custody, and black vans do not come in the middle of the night to take us away to gulags in the Simpson Desert.
We are allowed to howl and screech as much as we want with our mates, and on social media, about how fucked the cost of living is, how shit the cops are, how dreadful the various governments are, how our kids get bullied at school, how someone is not recognising whatever pronouns someone else has adopted for themselves, or how come Taylor Swift has somehow supplanted Kim Kardashian as the model for all bitches everywhere to emulate.
All of that is just noise. Our rulers don’t care. They know we know they’re vermin. And they don’t care because there is nothing we can or will do about it. The system ensures that.
So why should they do anything good for us?
Fuck us. We deserve it.
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Boris is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously. He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.