“Who is that bloke with a black bag over his head?”
“It’s Ye. The fucken idiot has gone fully insane.”
“Yay? Like in ‘Yay, it’s time for beer’?”
“No. It’s what Kanye West calls himself now.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s mad. Are you not listening to what I’m saying?”
“I am, and I’m not sure that madness is a recent development, but I hear he’s now spruiking Adolf. At least he’s stopped threatening to kill his ex-wife’s boyfriend. Why are you even looking at this? Why aren’t you following the war?”
“You follow the war enough for all of us. I know more about the Sparta Battalion, Komushyvakha, and Pervomaysk than I ever wanted to know.”
“The Sparta boys kick arse. They have a pet racoon now.”
“I don’t care about their fucking racoon. I can’t stop seeing this Kanye train-wreck. It pops up in my feed all the time. Newsdotcom pumps it like a crack whore.”
“Why does he have a black bag over his head?”
“Because he’s crazier than a bog-rat. The fool’s completely insane. He needs help and injections. He’s gone full hate on the Jews as well.
“Is that why he’s put a black bag on his head?”
“No, for Kanye that’s a fashion statement.”
“What fashion is he stating? I’m in the Klan, I just got the colour wrong?”
“It might go with his White Supremacy platform. He’s completely unhinged.”
“His madness is almost glorious. He’s fully committed to being as insane as he can be without being locked in a soft room because the public is in danger.”
“He still wants to cut Skeet’s head off.”
“Skeet?”
“Yes. The Kardashomoll’s most recent non-black penis.”
“Oh, Pete Davidson? That drug addict from Saturday Night Live?”
“That’s the one. He’s the king of Staten Island.”
“When did Staten Island become a kingdom? Has Vlad done something in the US I don’t know about?”
“That’s what Pete Davidson calls himself. I’m not sure Skeet knows who Vlad is. I think he’s currently hiding from the Kardashian Mother’s death squads.”
“You’re so across all this pop culture shit.”
“It’s like looking at a train wreck, like I said. Stupidly rich idiots, being stupidly unhappy with being rich and famous, and being crazy in public is all the rage.”
“So is Kanye running for President?”
“No, the Big Orange Monkey has disavowed him. Even that fool isn’t stupid enough to get into bed with this mad fuck.”
“I can’t wait until Dwayne Johnson decides he wants to be POTUS.”
“The Rock? OMFG, yes! We’re becoming US citizens just so we can vote for him. He’s…well, he’s pretty hot.”
“What the fuck am I? Swiss cheese?”
“Are there any other options on that table?”
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