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Part of the 'Shit My Wife Says' Series

“What’s that pile of books on the kitchen counter all about? You have your allotted areas for placing your crap so you don’t forget where you’ve placed your crap. The kitchen bench is not on that list.”
“I gotta send them out to people.”
“I thought Nick was doing that. Or is there suddenly 20,000 orders and we can look forward to more protein in our diet that isn’t the insects you find under the tree-bark?”
“No, no…these are the books I need to send to Brendan, Biffa, and Nick.”
“Nice. Three more sales. You should be able to put some petrol into something soon.”
“These are free. Brendan was the illustrator, Biffa was the graphic designer, and Nick was the photographer.”
“Free? I thought we’d discussed this free shit you’ve been doing for people forever.”
“We did, but these blokes are special in terms of the book being completed.”
“Are they more special than me?”
“Are you out of your mind? Nothing on this planet is more special than you. The boy comes close, but you’re the most special of all the special things in my life.”
“Then why did I pay for your book?”
“Um…you’ll recall we were testing the software and we needed someone to try and do a transaction to see if it all worked as it should.”
“And?”
“And it did. and there was much rejoicing in the land.”
“You owe me fifty bucks, fucker.”
“Technically, yes.”
“By close of business tomorrow.”
I love her so much.

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Boris Mihailovic

Boris is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously. He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.

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